Anger: A Choice L09

   I saw many couples in my childhood that were constantly arguing and going back and forth about different concerns. I never heard many loving words or affection being echoed, but the screams never ceased it seemed like. My husband and I are coming up on our first year of marriage next month and we have not raised our voices once at each other when we argue.  This is not because we are "just so good" or "in our honeymoon stage still"  we have definitely gone through a lot trials so far in our first year. I just made the decision before I even met him that I would not be one of those "loud and crazy Latina wives".I have never responded well when I am being yelled at, and have never been the type to want to yell back. I would rather just not say anything or just walk away than converse with someone who was screaming at me, the only exception to this seemed to be my siblings.

 I would never want to speak to the future father of my children the way my parents spoke to each other and treated each other. I would often hear in their marriage specifically that they literally could not remain calm because the other was just doing something so idiotic and dumb they had no choice but be angry. Like Elder Robbins said "being angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!" .I saw the outcome or consequence of the choice of anger, I saw the type of relationship it made and I knew and have known for many years that is not what I wanted for myself. 

   I contemplate on a specific set of uncles who I care for but look to as an example of "not to do". I notice in their marriage that anger comes up as something completely out of no where, abrupt. I have seen the meltdowns they both have over their 10 years of marriage. A mentality I think is particularly scary in their almost tantrum like anger is the idea of their anger being something innate they can never change and definitely can not control. As Elder Robbins said  “But I can’t help myself” is such a natural man argument. We are all imperfect, we can not expect perfection from anyone but we should help and encourage those around us to work on weaknesses. I know that for some handling their anger or rage is very difficult, even seems to be something they have been dealing with for their entire life. I have always seemed to be under the impression that these specific people tend to use their anger as a weapon against others and in turn it damages them as well. 

   Some ways I deal with anger is looking at pictures that make me happy, below are my favorite roses.