Turning Towards One Another L07

      I never understood how deep respect and love for one another in the hardest and most vulnerable moments could eventually become a strength in the long run. I know now that confiding in my husband and turning to him rather than my sister or mother is something that strengthens our relationship. I have always had mistrust with men because of my home life and my past so becoming so honest and vulnerable with my husband did not come easy. I saw so many relationships of the complete opposite that it almost became what I thought I should do.

      Throughout our marriage and even our relationship when we were dating it was hard for both of us to open up, we shared only the surface level of pain or struggle. I know for me personally it almost felt more secure and receiving to know someone I cared for so much was not aware of all my baggage and heartache. The more I cared and slowly started for my husband the less I wanted to share and let him know of all the pain I had been building up for over a decade. 

      I started to ponder what it is I really wanted in the long run, and how I was hopefully going to get there. I realized if I wanted to get married to someone who I was madly in love with I would have to open up and be vulnerable. I was scared to be so honest not only with myself but with my now husband. It took a lot of prayer and thought but I finally slowly started to open up to him and he started to open up to me as well. 

    When I finally realized how much I was falling for my now husband, instead of talking to my very close friend about our problems I slowly started talking to only him, I laid everything out and forced myself to speak. This started out with small things like something he said or did that was maybe hurtful or something that bothered me. It then progressed into very deep and personal afflictions that I no longer talked about in detail with my close friend but instead with my future husband. I had never been so open with a significant other, or had really spoken my heart out with a man before. It was a new experience but I found a lot of comfort confiding in the man I love and adore

      We now have a happy marriage, every passing year I think back on how we were as individuals and where we are now. I see the growth we have underwent and I truly believe it is from us opening up and shutting all backdoors out, and just working on us and our future everyday.