Toxic Pride L08

 While reading the many amazing resources this week, I reflected on what makes pride so damaging and other ways we as humans can subtly be prideful without intentionally doing so.. I found that pride in marriage specifically can be a huge wedge even for spouses that truly and devoutly love each other. Pride can be the start of long and hurtful arguments, and eventually the reason a marriage is broken. As Goddard so eloquently said  "We presume to understand their thoughts, motives and intent better than even they themselves do." This puts us in the mindset that we know more, we know best and whoever is arguing with us clearly does not know what they are talking about. This does not just start by us having gone simple conversation and coming to the realization that we know more but it stems from thoughts and those thoughts of pridefulness is what is the most dangerous in the long run.

   As President Benson mentions this scripture in his talk “Pride goeth before destruction.” (Prov. 16:18 (Links to an external site.).) .This really got me thinking of how simple thoughts that slowly turn into prideful words and then actions really can affect a marriage. Pride no matter what angle you look at is really has no virtues or benefits for a wedded couple in the progression on the marriage. 

   This is exactly why we should let go of pride, let go of the superior thoughts that envelope our brain. Not only for the sake of a happy and loving marriage but also because it is what our Father wants. "Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away" (3 Nephi 11:30). We are here to be more humble, to love more give more and think of ourselves less. I think by implementing this mindset we are inviting the spirit into not only our marriages but our everyday lives. I think thinking more highly of your spouse and less perfectly of yourself would make major changes in any marriage.

   In my upbringing I saw a lot of pride not only in my parents marriage but all throughout my family. I come from a "macho" culture where the women would always be attending to their husbands needs. To the point where my male relatives sit down at a table and expect absolutely everything to be brought to them, and get up and leave without saying thank you or even picking up their plates. I saw this and the pride my male relatives have for being a "man", not lowering themselves to do "a womans job". I saw how this caused so much tension in marriages, the women never felt valued and annoyed about having to cater to the men. I saw fights spur, and nothing changing because of the pride of the men. I am glad to say it has gotten better at least for my mom, I was FaceTiming her and saw my dad for the first time in my life washing dishes. I was 20 years old when I saw for the first time ever my Dad doing something in the kitchen.