The "Norm" L02
I was brought up in a home where my parents cohabitated and were just together but not officially married. I was constantly confused as to what was going on or why people would react strangely when I would say my parents were not married but had been together for over a decade. I saw a ton of my family members who as well were not married but together for a long time start to separate, I thought it was so sad and shocking to see that happening. I did not see the importance of having that “stability” of a spouse when all the male role models in my life never respected their significant other, I thought getting cheated on as a woman was expected and bound to happen no matter what.
I understand now looking back that I was normalizing the broken families, unwed people living together for years and years as well as staying with someone who did not treat you well because you were a woman and could not leave. What I grew up seeing directly contradicted what I was being taught in His church. I learned marriages could be happy, I learned men could be loving and faithful as well as supportive and amazing. I now know that marriages are beautiful, that they are worth it and the word marriage is not synonymous for heartache and pain.
I am happily married now with my best friend and other half, I have never felt so loved and happy before in my life. I have struggled with separating my marriage to the relationships I saw growing up, in the beginning I was almost bracing myself for when my husband would cheat on me or leave me for whatever reason. I now know we are in this for the long run, that my marriage is not disposable and that it takes a lot of work but it will be all worth it. I learned through the gospel of Christ that a broken heart can be mended, there is hope and will always be hope as long as we have God in the center of our lives and hearts.
Looking back and reflecting this as an adult I understand after all of my experiences that my role in my family was to be a "transitional character". I saw what I saw and experienced life in a broken home my entire childhood to now value the life I live. I never thought I could overcome my family cycle, the pain and hurt. I often think of "But what of those who are abused and mistreated as children? Can they hope to overcome problems caused by their upbringing?", I am here to say that it is possible. I have experienced very hard trials since the early age of 5, and remember feeling so broken even from then. I guess my message today is that becoming a transitional character yourself is a choice, it is hard but so is being broken inside. Choosing yourself and your future life and happiness is within your grasp.
I understand now looking back that I was normalizing the broken families, unwed people living together for years and years as well as staying with someone who did not treat you well because you were a woman and could not leave. What I grew up seeing directly contradicted what I was being taught in His church. I learned marriages could be happy, I learned men could be loving and faithful as well as supportive and amazing. I now know that marriages are beautiful, that they are worth it and the word marriage is not synonymous for heartache and pain.
I am happily married now with my best friend and other half, I have never felt so loved and happy before in my life. I have struggled with separating my marriage to the relationships I saw growing up, in the beginning I was almost bracing myself for when my husband would cheat on me or leave me for whatever reason. I now know we are in this for the long run, that my marriage is not disposable and that it takes a lot of work but it will be all worth it. I learned through the gospel of Christ that a broken heart can be mended, there is hope and will always be hope as long as we have God in the center of our lives and hearts.
Looking back and reflecting this as an adult I understand after all of my experiences that my role in my family was to be a "transitional character". I saw what I saw and experienced life in a broken home my entire childhood to now value the life I live. I never thought I could overcome my family cycle, the pain and hurt. I often think of "But what of those who are abused and mistreated as children? Can they hope to overcome problems caused by their upbringing?", I am here to say that it is possible. I have experienced very hard trials since the early age of 5, and remember feeling so broken even from then. I guess my message today is that becoming a transitional character yourself is a choice, it is hard but so is being broken inside. Choosing yourself and your future life and happiness is within your grasp.
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